What do I really want?

What do you do when you're torn between pursuing your hobbies and that profession you've been eying on since the time you were asked what you wanted to be when you grow up?

Since it's the Holy Week, it's about time that I take my time to reflect on my aspirations. 

Years ago I was that 4-year-old ambitious kid who wanted to have a profession that's been awed by many, even until now. Seeing my father wear his barong all the time to hearings, being able to travel to other places for work-related matters, having some documents to work on (which turned out to be cases to be decided by him), having a lot of people respect him wherever he goes, having that coveted "Atty." prefix on his name, and so much more, at that time I simply told my teachers, "I want to be a lawyer when I grow up".

This strong will to achieve my childhood ambition went on for years until I realized how introverted I was growing up. I've heard different things, like how lawyers-to-be are usually people who are not afraid to speak what's on their mind, those who are outgoing and good at making connections, those who are influential, and those who are simply not shy.

I don't know why, but while growing up, I was that silent girl who just sits at the corner in class, and would only talk when someone talks to me. I was never the one to approach people first. Most, if not all my friends became my friends because they were the ones who approached me first, and that's why I only had few close friends every school year, then there were times when I had none. Well, which kid would want to hang out with a boring one like me anyway?

But nevertheless, I was one of the academically-gifted students during my years of study. Through the years, my rankings never go down to number 4 in class. I was good at understanding what the teachers discussed, and I was someone who had the good memory, which was very useful when it came to memorization. I was also commended for my writing skills since I was able to win my school's essay contests here and there, and in fact, I do love writing essays. Because of these, many believed that I can actually become a lawyer.

Years later, when I was in Grade 6, the advent of technology came. Social media became popular, and at that time my first accounts were Friendster and Multiply. These platforms made me have opportunities to express what I feel, in an introverted way, because I only had to type my thoughts (and post my photos) on the status bar and wait for people to react. Aside from that, I had the opportunity to customize my internet abode, and that's where my designing hobby started.

Designing is fun. I get to find a lot of inspirations online. I get to find graphics and fonts to mix and match to my liking. But then I thought that since I also love writing, which platform should I sign up with? That's when I discovered blogging in 2009, through a friend and schoolmate whom I got to know more online.

My writing and designing hobbies were fused into one, which was, yes, into blogging. The good thing about blogging is that we get to share what we want online and meet new people who are also like-minded bloggers like us.

Going back to my academic life, as years passed, because of social media and blogging, as well as having pushed myself to be more friendly in school, I actually became more outgoing, but not to the point that I became an extrovert. Actually, I became an ambivert instead, but I guess that's good enough, since it made me worry less about being worthy of getting that Law degree, and aside from this, I did get an A and A- on my law subjects during my college undergrad years. So yes, I proved that I can somewhat survive Law School.

But then, now it's time to choose between feeding my academic capabilities through pursuing Law School and becoming a lawyer someday or developing my hobbies in a way that will generate me some income. With each, there are advantages and disadvantages.

Pursuing Law School would mean expensive tuition fees and books, as well as study sessions in coffee shops and co-working/co-studying spaces. It will cost a lot of money, but then it will give me a lot of returns if I get blessed to become an Attorney someday, and not only in monetary means, but also my prestige when I get the title. Plus, this profession is always in demand, and as long as I build rapport with people and I make myself known (I know, it's an extroverted way to survive, but I am certain that I can get through it) I can eventually succeed. Aside from these, I really do want to challenge myself.

As for my blogging hobby, all I need is a custom domain to somewhat give justice to my blog in a way that it will have one step ahead from other blogs, and my strong passion and adequate knowledge for something. Also, I didn't even have to stress about being mostly an introvert. But then, one drawback with this one is that I am not sure yet as to which topics I should write about to gain more traffic and be established in the online world. I've read about one of the best ways in monetizing my blog, which is to write and sell eBooks, but there are just so many competitors, and I don't think I'm ready to jump into the market yet. You see, I am just a 21-year-old who is still stuck on lifestyle topics and trying hard to promote my real estate inventories (since I'm also a new real estate broker and appraiser as well). Of course, I can give advice relating to my academic journeys wherein which I do have a good track record, but I have yet to work on my SEOs to stand out in search engines and think of more academic topics to write on for my eBook compilation soon.

Either way, it's a challenge, but in the end, I had to choose which one to pursue first.

Both of these professions are highly respected. Both are in demand. Both will earn me decent income as long as I put some work on these.

Having evaluated everything, I choose to pursue Law School. Why? It's because I realized that I have to establish more my authority first. I have to give myself a stronger title and more experiences to make myself worthy of selling something on my blog. I also believe that while pursuing Law, I can widen my views with my real estate profession, since whenever I go along with my day-to-day experiences in real estate, laws will always come to play as well.

I could've pursued a degree in graphic design (by the way, this is one of the highest paying jobs with a monthly salary of PHP 99,658 as found in the Top 10 best paying PHL jobs according to DOLE), a degree in Computer Science, Information Technology, or a degree in Development Communication, but yes, I think it's better for me to pursue Law this time.

A profession as a lawyer will give justice to both my real estate professions and my blogging profession, and it is now up to me on how I can make this work. Besides, all of these can be related. I can be a one-person agency by both being a lawyer and real estate professional at the same time since documents always need to be notarized, and for my spare time, I can write and tell you about my adventures with these professions.

But for now, I need to pass the Philippine Law School Admission Test (PhiLSAT) first, which I will be taking this Sunday, and I do hope that whoever reads this, you can pray for me and wish me some luck! I would highly appreciate that.

Till here :*

1 comment

What can you say? :)